On the 7th of June 1998 I turned fifty. Half a year before that day I had been living with a dream that Shri Mataji might arrive in Russia on my birthday. In my heart I was asking, ‘Oh, Mother, please make such a present for me. It’s such a happiness to see You! The very fact of Your arrival will strengthen my faith in myself,’ and immediately another thought came to my mind, ‘Oh, Mother, please forgive me for such a request. Who am I to receive such a gift from the Goddess?’
Shri Mataji did come to Russia on the 7th of June 1998, but it happened that we were told Shri Mataji’s arrival to Moscow would be on the 8th of June. We came to Moscow early in the morning from Murom. My heart was flattering with joy: it had happened! As soon as I got off the train, my Kundalini rose. I immediately understood that Shri Mataji was already in Moscow and that very minute I asked Her to forgive me for not coming on the 7th of June.
The arrival of Shri Mataji at the stadium, for the presentation of Shri Mataji’s book, Meta Modern Era, was to happen on the 9th of June at 5pm. A self realisation programme was also going to take place on that day. It was supposed to be held near the covered stadium. I sat in one place, then changed it for another one, then again for some other ones until I finished up sitting at the entrance, near the fence. The car of Shri Mataji appeared and stopped right opposite the place where I was sitting. She was looking through the window of the car. I saw Her eyes, shining like stars. She was smiling. I didn’t know if I should do namaste or not – would it be according to the protocol? Is it allowed to attract the attention of the Goddess onto yourself when there are so many Sahaja Yogis around? I wanted to hold the door of the car for Her, but dared neither to hold the door nor to fall down. I made namaste mentally not to distract attention of Holy Mother onto myself.
A stage was set in the stadium and Shri Mataji conducted the self realisation programme after which there was a concert. There were many people there. I was standing in the place where it was difficult to see Shri Mataji on the stage, and it was getting dark. Gradually Sahaja Yogis began to move to the place where Shri Mataji was to leave the stage, in order to see Her better.
After the concert Shri Mataji was taken to Her room for a rest. All our Sahaja Yogis from Murom left for the railway station, and I thought, ‘How many lives did I dream of the meeting with God! And there She is in the person of Shri Mataji here in Moscow. I am standing on the ground which She has stepped on and my feet feel the vibrations which the ground is filled with. I breathe the air sodden with the vibrations of the Holy Spirit. And I dissolve in the ocean of love of Adi Shakti which has filled all of us.’
There was a beautiful moon in a rainbow bandhan in the sky. The colour of the moon was neither yellow, nor orange, nor pink. All the colours merged in one and that magic colour exhaled extraordinary tenderness for the Goddess of the universe and Her children.
Isn’t it happiness? Why should one hurry anywhere if Shri Mataji is still here, with us? Many Sahaja Yogis had missed the suburban train and returned. We all, who had stayed, were enjoying the divine presence. Some hours passed and then Shri Mataji was taken to the car. Sahaja Yogis surrounded Her in several circles. She is getting into the car. I could not see Her and thought, sadly, ‘So, I have been waiting for this moment to see Holy Mother once again but I do not see Her beautiful face,’ and suddenly a light was turned on in the car and our Holy Mother looked in my direction, so different and so beloved, a smile of love. She was shining. I even saw a crown on Her divine head. My heart said, ‘O, Shri Mataji! How beautiful You are! How much I love You! Thank You for the present to see You once again.’ It lasted a minute and then the light was turned off. The car left. It was after midnight but I did not want to sleep. We were enjoying the state until the morning.
Sisters from Kolomna treated me to the water which Shri Mataji had drunk (it was my old dream). The first rays of the sun appeared from above the horizon. We settled in meditation. Overfilled with love of Shri Adi Shakti we left the place for our home cities in the morning.
Tatyana Lyubomirskaya
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