I wanted to talk to you there

I was in India for Shri Mataji’s seventieth Birthday Puja in Delhi in 1993. At that time I was feeling depressed (I discovered after that I was at the beginning of my second pregnancy) and had it in my mind that I hoped Shri Mataji would not see me in that state. She knew everything, but somehow I didn’t want Her to see me. The whole time we were there I wanted to keep in the back.

We left India and went to Rome for Easter Puja and we were allowed to meet Shri Mataji at the airport. There were two entrances, and everyone said Shri Mataji would come out of door number A, so there was a big crowd waiting there. Just when they said Shri Mataji was about to come, because I had had to go somewhere, I happened to be passing door number B, which was completely empty as all the crowd was at the other door. As I passed the B door it opened and Shri Mataji came out. I was standing there completely alone with Her.

‘Oh, hello, how are you?’ She asked me. I bowed down and She continued, ‘I saw you in India.’ I had tried to hide from Her in India. ‘I wanted to talk to you there, to see how you were,’ She went on, ‘but there were so many people, I did not have a chance. I hope you are well.’

‘Now I am well,’ I said. It was just matter of a couple of minutes, and then all the other people saw Shri Mataji and came over to Her. She was at the airport for about half an hour and everyone was trying to be near Her, and I was standing somewhere in a corner, completely blissed out. All the feelings of guilt, and worry about my vibrations had gone. I felt very well for the whole of the rest of my pregnancy.

Sabine Hackl